Hope

I had the blessing of hope this week. Hope that I might finally get what I've been wanting for so long. After being 4 days late, I thought I might actually be pregnant. For those few days, I thought there might actually be life growing inside of me. I still thought there was a pretty good chance that I wasn't pregnant, but a small part of me allowed myself to hope. It was nice to have a small break from that overwhelming feeling of grief and hopelessness. I finally built up the courage to take a test, and I got that all too familiar BFN (big fat negative for all those non-infertiles out there). The feelings of grief and frustration are back, but I am grateful for the chance I had to hope.